Click here to read the July 5th brain dump.
Click here to read Kevin's brain dumps.
a. The hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing really encouraged me and became my prayer today. The lyrics "Let thy goodness, like a fetter (chains, shackles), bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above."
b. I found myself (mind) wondering, exploring the world of what ifs, being afraid of the unknown until I heard this hymn today. I made myself focus on the goodness God and how he has so miraculously provided for me and my family - just as the hymn stated, let thy goodness bind my wandering heart to thee.
c. After being out for a few hours looking at houses, it was a nice treat to come back to the house and be able to sit on the back patio and just think, listen, and journal.
d. During my quiet time, I sensed the Lord saying to me not to try to replicate my life in Greensboro because He was doing something totally new with me and my family. So what does this mean, Lord?!?
e. It's so apparent God knows exactly where He wants us to be planted, and it's very obvious we haven't discovered that exact place yet. He's working on something, I just know He is! And when my family gets there ,Christ would have done a major work in our lives !
f. My friend, Tamika, sent me a prayer right before I left Greensboro that dealt with a wife controlling her tongue in regard to her husband. I didn't need it at the time but I'm thankful for it now! Thanks, Tamika for always encouraging me.
g. Let's just say, adding my two cents to everything Kevin says doesn't make my marriage work. Neither does cutting him off mid-sentence to interject my point of view. Sad to say, but I'm guilty:(
h. Y'all, I haven't been the sweet Cetelia I strive to be. It would be easy for me to blame my behavior on my circumstances. I'm human just like everyone reading this blog and very, very far from being perfect. More importantly than that, I have a God who desires to know I love Him by my actions and interactions with my husband and others. I love God by keeping His commands. I have fallen short of seeing to it that I respect my husband. (Eph 5:33)
i. More than anything right now, my buddy Kevin needs to feel loved and respected. The wife of the friends we stayed with in Fort Worth helped me to see that Kevin being the husband, father, and provider needed more encouragement now than ever before considering our circumstances.
j. I feel like the Lord is really challenging me, stripping layers off, and pushing me to depend on Him more and more. Here I am in a place of major instability, yet He's asking me to focus on respecting my husband. Lord, could you at least get my family situated in our own home first? Could you at least let me get my belongings out of storage and get my house in order? Could you not bother me with this right now? Really, Lord, right now?!?
k. I have my arsenal, my bible verses, and I'll read and re-read and re-read those as I focus on changing a few ugly habits that just aren't making my marriage work. I want to show Kevin respect by letting him finish his sentences before I add my perspective. As my husband, Kevin's thoughts, opinions, and ideas are important to me, and I want to communicate that by listening to him with my full attention and not with eyes on my phone or something else.
l. God is working, in my heart, in our housing situation, etc. He is always working and I'm choosing to join Him in His work on my heart.
Cetelia will bloom where she has been planted.